When I think of the idea of “first love,” I am drawn back to high school. How young—how naïve! First love is so new, exciting and confusing. It is shrouded in hormones and smells of adolescence. However, it’s an important part of growing up.
For me, first love was first, but it was not my last. It was
a significant part of my high school years and while this relationship did end
I look back on it now with fondness. It holds a special place in my past (and
in my heart). As time goes on, we learn and grow. I like to remember the “good
stuff.”
I knew Jason was interested in me beginning in February of
sophomore year. It was Valentine’s Day. At my high school, some girls walked
around with an armful of flowers and stuffed bears that were as big as they
were. For them, Valentine’s Day was about recognition based on what you got and
from whom.
For me, Valentine’s Day was never something special. I was
with the group that felt it was more “Happy Single Awareness Day.” My thinking
on the matter did change that fateful day when I was walking down the sidewalk
heading to my next class. I saw Jason with a single rose. It struck me as a
little odd because ya know…he’s a dude walking with a flower. Never in a
million years did I think he would say “for you” when I asked him “who’s that
for?” Talk about a stop you in your tracks kind of moments!
It wasn’t long after that fateful day that we started
dating. We dated for a year and a half! In high school time, that’s like
FOREVER! I went to all of his football games and wore his #54 necklace. We were
inducted into National Honor Society together, he attended my softball games
and we worked on the yearbook together.
Some of my favorite memories from this relationship were: On
our first Valentine’s Day as a couple, he went to all my classes before me and
left a little gift on my desk. For junior prom, he (with the help of his mom)
made us dinner in the park. He was the first guy I kissed and my first “I love
you.”
We broke up the summer before senior year. It ended with a
phone call. (Enter heartbreak and tears). I am not going to say the break wasn't easy. It's difficult to loose someone you care about because they no longer feel the same way about you. It's hard to avoid this person because your schedules are so similar (talk about awkward)! But with each day, the pain lessens and your outlook brightens---life goes on as it should.
First loves help to open our hearts and minds to new concepts and experiences that can not be truly known otherwise. By putting ourselves out there, we live! Love is a risk. Do it anyway. It's a simple and significant choice that can lead you to something much greater and more unexpected.
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