I will channel Tyler Perry's "Madea" on this one. My house. My rules. Yes, it is that simple. I wholeheartedly acknowledge that this idea is easier said than done. Many parents who have gone before me will attest to this. But this simple and significant concept begins with the parents. You must model and teach your expectations to your children. I am currently in the process of teaching my toddler "please and thank you." We will work our way up to "yes m'am and no sir." Little Miss will do chores for herself and family related chores like dishes or vacuuming.
I am by no means advocating an authoritarian parenting style or treaing children like live in servants because psychologically this is ineffective. I don't want my children to fear me, but more so I want them to respect me enough to know that there will be consequences if rules are not followed because what I allow will continue.
As a child, I was the "good one." I strived not to get in trouble. I relished in the goody, goody role. I was scared of what my parents might do to me. I think I was only spanked a few times. I definitely didn't want to disappoint them.
My sister on the other hand was more stubborn and defiant. My parents didn't "raise us" the same. They were less strict with her. I remember times when my mom and sister would "battle." It wasn't pretty. It was a good example of what not to do.
I recently came across a great article relating to this topic entitled, "10 habits to develop for correcting your children." Thank you Raising Godly Children for putting this out there!
Some of my take always from this article was that we discipline our children to protect them from harm. It is important to build and maintain a true and focused relationship. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but it is important that we learn from them. As a parent, you should be consistent and fair, but loving at the same time.
Positive Parenting Solutions also had a great suggestion for the form of child disrespect called "nagging and negotiating." Whenever, this occurs with a child all you have to say is "Asked and answered." No means no. Plain and simple--end of discussion. This is definitely something I am going to try on Little Miss. I have already used this line on the hubby.
Building a relationship with your children is not he easiest task by any means. It begins early on and last for years to come. I don't want to be out and about and have people be like, "OMG that kid needs a spanking!" Or "Why doesn't she do something? Or she needs Jo, from Super Nanny!"
Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." I like to keep this scripture in my mind and heart on topics and issues like these. The long term goal and result is clear--not easy, but obvious. Simple, but significant.
Why do you think parents struggle with disrespect? What advice would you give to parents?
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